


Erestor Knows Best

by Morgana_avalon



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 21:29:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18396716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgana_avalon/pseuds/Morgana_avalon
Summary: Erestor knows best, what more is there to say?





	Erestor Knows Best

Erestor Knows Best

“Welcome to Imladris,” Elrond said as he inclined his head in greeting. The half-Elf was surprised to see Legolas in Imladris. When they had met in Minas Tirith during Arwen and Elessar’s wedding, Legolas hadn’t mentioned wanting to visit Imladris any time soon.

“Greetings, Elrond.” Legolas inclined his head in greeting as well, but kept his gaze averted. “I apologize for not sending any word in advance, but…” He hadn’t been certain that Elrond still dwelt in Imladris. It could have been that Elrond had stayed in Minas Tirith with his daughter.

“There is no need to send advance warning,” Elrond responded and raised his arm for Legolas to follow him inside. The fact that Legolas was doing his best to avoid eye contact puzzled him. The other Elf had never acted shy in his presence before. “I surmise you would like to rest and take a bath before we meet again for dinner. I will escort you to the guest wing.” Elrond studied Legolas closely and realized that the blond Elf looked drained. Legolas had always been pale, but had never appeared exhausted before. It was the way the Woodland Elf moved that gave Legolas away: slowly, as if walking pained him. The strong shoulders were slumped and Legolas kept his head bowed. Elrond couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to cause these changes.

“Aye, I would like to rest and freshen up.” Legolas had to remind himself to reply. He forced himself to smile at Elrond, but then quickly looked away again. “I am surprised to find that Imladris still houses so many Elves. I expected for them to sail.”

“Not yet. Maybe in a few years. I do not want to leave any loose ends behind and I want my people to have the time they need to make arrangements.” Elrond guided Legolas through the corridors, wanting nothing more than to ask the other Elf why he had come to Imladris, but he kept quiet. He had the feeling that Legolas needed time and rest. “I will send a servant to escort you to the Hall of Fire when it is time for dinner. In the meantime, I hope you will rest and enjoy the comforts the Last Homely House has to offer.” They arrived at the guest room Legolas would occupy and Elrond pushed the door open. “I hope the room is to your liking.”

Legolas answered without looking up to inspect the room. “It will do nicely.” There had been little comfort for him and his traveling companions during their quest to defeat Sauron. Elrond stepped aside and Legolas quickly entered the room, still keeping his head down.

“I will see you at dinner.” Elrond frowned. Legolas’ unusual behavior puzzled and worried him. He had known Legolas for many centuries and not once had the other Elf acted this odd. Elrond closed the door as Legolas headed for the bed, but he didn’t leave at once. He remained standing in the corridor for a few minutes longer and pondered the situation. He wished he knew what had happened to Legolas to throw the other Elf off balance.

~~~

Contrary to what he had told Elrond, Legolas didn’t lie down to rest. He headed toward the window and opened it to let in the mild autumn breeze. Summer was gone, but winter was still far away and he loved this time of the year when the earth was still buzzing with life and energy while already preparing for a long rest. If only life was that simple. He rested his right hand against the wall to steady himself when he swayed, feeling light-headed. He closed his eyes in an attempt to battle the vertigo.

He had begun to feel unbalanced after the battle at Helm’s Deep. That was when the nightmares had started. In his dreams, the brave defenders of Helm’s Deep died repeatedly. That battle had been nothing short of a massacre and, when Eómer and Mithrandir had arrived, the battlements and surrounding grounds had already been drenched with blood.

Legolas opened his eyes again and tried to steady his breathing, which had sped up during the last few minutes. He hadn’t slept properly for a very long time because of the horrid nightmares. Therefore he rested as little as possible. He didn’t want the nightmares to creep up on him again. But even an Elf couldn’t go without sleep for months. Eventually he would succumb to fatigue and fall asleep and when he did, the nightmares would roam freely in his mind. Fully aware that he would fall victim to them eventually, Legolas had chosen to go to Imladris and its Lord, a renowned healer in a haven of peace. If anyone could help him, it was Elrond, but first he needed to find the courage to tell Elrond about his condition.

~~~

“Are the dishes not to your liking? If you have any special wishes, I am sure the kitchen can prepare others for you.” Elrond’s worries increased as he noticed how little Legolas ate during dinner. He couldn’t shake the feeling that Legolas was thinner than the last time they had met, which had only been three weeks ago when they had prepared for Arwen and Estel’s wedding. Once he thought about it, he realized that Legolas had looked drained back then as well and the healer in him wanted to know what was wrong so he could help.

“The food is excellent. It always is. I am afraid I am just not very hungry.” Legolas’ hands rested idly in his lap, having deserted his knife and fork a few minutes ago.

Elrond sighed deeply and wondered if Legolas was going to tell him what was wrong or if he would have to drag it from the other Elf. “Would you care for a walk in the gardens?” Maybe once they were alone Legolas would confide in him.

Legolas emptied his glass and swallowed hard. The miruvor traveled down his throat further into his body and drove away some of the cold that had settled in his bones. “I would like that.” Maybe once they had some privacy he would feel comfortable enough to tell Elrond about the nightmares.

~~~

The gardens of Imladris were heavy with the sweet floral fragrances that announced the end of summer. Most of the plant life would die shortly. Legolas felt like he was one of them. Either he would find a way to weather the emotional storm or he might succumb to his inner demons.

“Something troubles you,” Elrond remarked as he walked next to Legolas while taking in the last blooming flowers that decorated the path they were walking on. “Would you like to discuss something with me?” He was trying to be careful and not presume Legolas had come to Imladris to confide in him, but it was the only explanation that made sense.

“Is it that obvious?” Legolas thought that he had been doing a good job in concealing his emotional upheaval. He stopped walking and sat down on the grass. He rested his back against an ancient oak tree and closed his eyes once the old tree reached out to touch his mind. All Woodland Elves possessed the special connection to the trees surrounding them. He acknowledged and welcomed the touch and sent a greeting in reply.

Elrond sat down next to the other Elf and arranged his robes around him. It was growing chilly this late in the evening and he shivered slightly, his mixed heritage showing through that susceptibility to the chill. “You look tired, Legolas, and you barely ate during dinner. You seem troubled.” He hoped his words wouldn’t cause offense.

Legolas merely nodded. “You are right, of course.” He rested the back of his head against the trunk and closed his eyes. His hands moved along a branch which was located close to him and the tree sent him its appreciation. The trees at home would be like this tree since Sauron’s Shadow no longer affected them.

“What is amiss?” Elrond hoped that showing interest in Legolas’ emotional condition would convince the other Elf to confide in him.

The Prince forced his eyes open and moved his head until he was able to look into Elrond’s gray ones. “You knew our brethren would die at Helm’s Deep and yet you sent them there. How can you sleep at night?”

Elrond drew in a sharp breath out of surprise. “I had no choice. I had to do something and most of them volunteered.”

“Did they know they were going to die?” Legolas’ fingers caressed the grass beneath them absentmindedly and he continued to search Elrond’s pained gaze.

“Most of them expected to die, yes.” Elrond wished Legolas would change the subject, uncomfortable with discussing this painful decision.

“I saw them die, you know.” Legolas kept his eyes open since closing them would bring back the horrible memories of the Uruk-hai slaughtering the others. “I tried to take down as many of Saruman’s vile creatures as I could, but…it was never enough.” Legolas’ voice trembled violently and he was tempted to avert his gaze, but found he couldn’t stop staring at Elrond, who was quickly becoming his life line. Doubt on whether or not sending the Firstborn to Helm’s Deep had been the right thing to do ruled Legolas’ heart, but Elrond seemed convinced that it had been a necessary and even right decision. “At night, when I try to sleep, I still see them die. I could not save any of them, no matter how hard I tried. I could not be everywhere at the same time.” Legolas fought down a sob and composed himself once more. This wasn’t the time to cave in...yet.

“Continue,” Elrond suggested, relieved that Legolas was finally revealing what troubled him. When he had sent the Elven army, he had taken full responsibility for the fact that most of them would never return to their homes and families and he would carry that burden forever, but for Legolas it had been different. He had actually seen them die.

“The nightmares are horrible. I have not been able to sleep properly for months now. Once the quest was over and life returned to normalcy, the nightmares came with it. When I close my eyes, the Uruks charge all over again and in my dreams, not a single Elf survives their attack and I am forced to watch them die. I feel so useless.” Tears which Legolas had been fighting for the last few minutes finally appeared in his eyes and then slid down the handsome and pale face. “And then Haldir dies as well.” Legolas’ breathing sped up and he stared at Elrond accusingly. “They attacked him from behind. He never had a chance.”

Had Elrond been alone, he would have hung his head, revealing his pain, but he couldn’t do that with Legolas present. He had to be strong for the other Elf’s sake. “Haldir knew he could die, but he still volunteered to lead our forces. I had tried to convince him not to, but you know how stubborn he was.” Talking about Haldir in the past tense caused Elrond pain, but he hid it well. “We can not change the past, but we can make the present more bearable if you trust me, Legolas. That is why you are here, isn’t it?” Reliving those nightmares night after night was what was draining Legolas. Elrond finally understood why the other Elf had come to Imladris. “I am a healer. I can help.”

“I was hoping you would say that,” Legolas admitted, but then continued in a strangled voice, “Can you really put the ghosts to rest so that they will stop tormenting me?” Self-doubt suddenly spread across his face and he averted his gaze. “Why am I this weak? Why can’t I deal with the memories myself?”

Deeply affected by Legolas’ admission, Elrond reached out to the other Elf and placed his right hand on Legolas’ knee. “There is no shame in carrying away battle wounds.”

But Legolas shook his head. “I am not an Elfling anymore. I should be able to deal with this myself.”

“Please look at me, Legolas.” Elrond waited for Legolas to raise his head and make eye contact, though the Elf’s face was full of perceived failure and reluctance. “After we fought Sauron at the battle of the Last Alliance, I was no stranger to nightmares either. Ereinion was killed in front of me and I was helpless to stop it. I had nightmares for many years until I was finally able to accept what had happened. It was fate that Ereinion would die that day and that I would live. What you feel now and what I felt back then is guilt, Legolas. We feel guilty that we survived and had not died like our friends had.”

Legolas sighed and nodded. “That is true.” It was an all consuming guilt which he felt and it robbed him of the ability to think clearly. “How did you overcome it?”

“I accepted my friends’ support and what had happened. I could not have saved Ereinion no matter what I had tried. He was destined to die that day.”

“You were fortunate to have friends to support you back then.” Legolas hated the way that sounded like he was wallowing in self-pity and that he was so much worse off than Elrond had been back then.

Elrond nodded in understanding. “I had Erestor back then as well as Glorfindel, Cirdan, and countless others to keep me on the straight and narrow. They would not let me stray into depression, but the Fellowship has broken apart. Estel is married these days, Gimli has left to visit his kin, and Mithrandir is off again. Mirkwood is far away and your father is busy chasing off the remnants of darkness Sauron left in your lands. You have no Elf to turn to.”

Legolas’ hands trembled and he quickly hid them in the folds of his tunic. “I feel like a failure for not being able to deal with this myself,” he confessed, keeping his head bowed. “But I am afraid to close my eyes when I am awake or lie down to rest, knowing that the memories are lurking in my mind. Once, I had woken up screaming in the middle of the night and had been on my feet within seconds, thinking I was back at Helm’s Deep. I was ready to attack the Uruks when in reality the only living beings close to me were the inhabitants of Minas Tirith. I am lethal with a knife and a bow, Elrond. I could have killed a number of them before I had realized what had happened. I am a danger to the ones close to me.”

Squeezing Legolas’ fingers, Elrond tried to reach out to the other Elf. Soothing those troubled thoughts, he concentrated on radiating trust and calm. “You made the right decision to confide in me. It is good that you came to Imladris.” Elrond rubbed the cold fingers resting in his and smiled reassuringly at Legolas. “I can help you, if you will let me.”

Legolas sighed deeply. “I want these memories to fade and the nightmares to go away. Can you really help me, Elrond?” His blue eyes searched Elrond’s gray ones.

“I believe I can.” Elrond slowly rose from the earth and pulled Legolas to his feet as well. “But you will have to trust me.”

Legolas shrugged his shoulders and regretted losing contact when Elrond released his hand. “I have nothing to lose. It can not become any worse than this.” He felt like the living dead at times.

Elrond carefully rested a hand at the small of Legolas’ back and started to guide the blond Elf back to the Last Homely House. “You did the right thing in telling me,” he replied reassuringly. “Now that I know what ails you, I can help you heal.” He knew full well that Legolas might have eventually faded if the blond Elf hadn’t come to him. The hurts of the soul could kill.

“What are your plans?” Legolas had to know. Vaguely, he registered Elrond’s fingers rubbing his back and sensed the half-Elf’s presence in his mind. It shocked him at how easily Elrond could reach into his mind while his barriers were still up. The half-Elf possessed greater power than Legolas had believed.

“First, we will make sure that you can sleep peacefully.” Elrond looked at Legolas calmly when the blond Elf started to protest. “Do not worry. The nightmares will leave you alone.” He knew a potion that would ensure Legolas slept undisturbed and, once the blond felt rested enough to face the horrible memories, they could take the next step. “I will not leave your side until you have the memories under control,” he promised since he knew that it was important that Legolas knew he had support. “I will help you through it.”

Legolas nodded as hope filled his eyes. He wanted to function normally again and do away with his ever-present guilt.

~~~

Elrond’s fingers smoothed the blond tangled hair and guarded Legolas’ sleep. It had taken little convincing on his account to make Legolas drink the potion he had prepared that would bring sleep without nightmares. Legolas had lain down after drinking the bitter tea and the closed eyes revealed that a healing sleep was upon him. Elrond sat beside the bed and watched over his charge, knowing that the demons would raise their ugly heads if they had even the smallest chance.

~~~

Legolas slept for two days and nights. Elrond had confided in Erestor, so his friend had brought food to his rooms in order that Elrond didn’t leave Legolas’ side as promised. He waited patiently for Legolas’ mind and body to recover and knew that the real battle would begin once the potion had lost its effect. They would have to deal with Legolas’ guilt then, but for the moment Elrond merely guarded Legolas’ dreams and enjoyed watching the handsome Elf sleep peacefully.

~~~

When Legolas finally woke from his healing sleep, he felt disoriented. He didn’t know where he was until he located Elrond seated on the side of the bed. A small smile appeared on his face before he mumbled, “I have never slept so deeply before.”

“It was a healing sleep,” Elrond explained. “It gave your body and mind a chance to recover from the horrors you have been through.” Elrond reached for the bowl with soup which Erestor had brought and stirred the contents. “Can you sit up and eat something?”

Legolas pushed himself upright and rested his back against the head of the bed. He folded his fingers around the bowl when Elrond handed it to him and was surprised that he felt hungry. His stomach growled and his mouth watered even though the soup was nothing but broth. Nothing had ever smelled so good before! Instead of using the spoon, he sipped carefully. “That potion of yours is quite strong. It knocked me out.”

“That was the idea,” Elrond responded and smiled contentedly. “With your subconscious sedated you finally had the opportunity to sleep.” He watched as Legolas emptied the bowl and then hummed in pleasure. “Your appetite has been restored as well. Good.”

Legolas grew more aware of his surroundings and realized that Elrond hadn’t returned him to his guest room. When the half-Elf had guided him earlier, he hadn’t paid much attention to where they were going. “Are these your rooms?” Curious, he looked at the wall decorations and realized that most of the swords hanging there had seen battle by the scratches from blows delivered in battle.

Elrond nodded and handed Legolas a piece of freshly baked bread that was dripping with butter. “I brought you here because we have more privacy. Eat more,” he answered as he handed Legolas the bread.

The Prince took a bite and butter dripped down his chin, which he quickly wiped away. He felt surprisingly rested and had Elrond to thank for that. He didn’t make the mistake to think that he had been healed though. Blushing, he realized that he was resting in Elrond’s bed.

Elrond chuckled as he noticed that thoughts were swirling around in Legolas’ mind. “Do not worry about occupying my bed. I seldom sleep there these days. I prefer the comfortable sofa near the window.” It enabled him to gaze upon his peaceful Imladris and took away some of his pain of loneliness. Ever since his wife had sailed West he had been lonely and it had taken him a long time to accept that there was no love in his life any more.

“I wonder how my father would react if I told him that I slept in your bed,” Legolas quipped, trying to lighten the tone of their conversation. He would face his memories later.

“He would probably throw a fit.” Elrond smiled and handed Legolas a napkin so the blond Elf could wipe away the remnants of butter on his fingers. It was a good sign when Legolas was able to eat again. “You know what he is like.”

Legolas nodded and a surprisingly fond expression appeared on his face. “He can not help being protective of his family. He does not have much kin left.”

“He has always been protective of you.” Elrond poured a cup of tea and handed it to Legolas. “You are his youngest son. Fathers tend to be more protective of the young ones.” It had been the same way for him. He had done his best to protect Arwen, but in the end, his daughter had chosen her own way.

Blowing onto the surface of the tea, Legolas shifted on the bed to attain a more comfortable position. His limbs protested after having been idle for so long. He was starting to feel nervous, unsure on what else to say.

Elrond noticed however and saved the situation. “I will prepare a bath for you and after you have cleaned yourself up, we will go for a walk. It is not good to be idle for much longer. You need to move again.”

“I am sorry for being such a burden,” Legolas whispered guiltily. “I should be able to deal with this situation myself instead of burdening you with it.”

Elrond’s gaze changed and he leaned in closer. He rested his hand on the column of Legolas’ neck and stared into the blue eyes. “There is no shame in accepting help, Legolas. That is the first thing you need to accept. I am helping you because I care for you. I know what you are going through because I lived it myself. Stop thinking of yourself as a burden. You have seen many horrific things and you stayed strong through it all. It is understandable that you need time to recover. Do not be so hard on yourself.”

Although Legolas knew Elrond had spoken from the heart, the blond Elf found it hard to accept those words as the truth. “I was not raised that way,” he murmured eventually. “I was raised to take care of myself.”

The Peredhel shrugged minutely. “You are still taking care of yourself. You sought me out. You *did* the right thing. Now you need to accept the next step as well, namely that you need some support for the time being.”

Legolas drew in a deep breath and considered Elrond’s words before nodding slowly. “You are probably right.”

Elrond smiled brilliantly. “I am right, Legolas, as you will find out shortly. You only need time to come to terms with what has happened lately.” By the Grace of the Valar, Elrond shuddered at the mere thought of the things Legolas had witnessed during his quest. Any Elf was allowed to feel affected by that! “And now I shall prepare your bath while you finish your tea.” Elrond removed his hand from Legolas’ neck and rose from the bed. He disappeared into the bathroom, allowing Legolas a moment to sort out his thoughts and emotions.

~~~

Legolas immersed himself in the water and closed his eyes. For the first time in months he felt at peace even though Elrond was still in the room with him. He wasn’t a shy Elf, but taking his clothes off in Elrond’s presence had made him feel awkward. Elrond, as alert as ever, had sensed his discomfort and had reminded him that he was present in the capacity of a healer and nothing more.

Elrond studied Legolas’ face and felt encouraged when the blond Elf was able to close his eyes without being attacked by memories. It would take time to give those horrid memories a place, but Elrond was confident that Legolas would manage. Maybe hearing someone else’s tale would show Legolas that there was a way out.

The Wood Elf opened his eyes when Elrond approached the pool, which was carved into the floor. He smiled as he watched Elrond drizzle bath oil into the water. He had always liked Elrond, but had had little opportunity to know the half-Elf better.

Elrond stirred the water to disperse the bath oil and then sat on the floor, once more rearranging his robes around him. He planned on changing into some more comfortable clothes once Legolas had finished his bath. “Things will be better,” he offered softly. “I remember being confused and angry after Ereinion had been taken away from me.” He wondered if Legolas was observant enough to read between the lines.

“The way you say that makes it sound personal.” Legolas rested the back of his head against the rim of the pool and let the scented water relax him further. He felt curious and wondered if Elrond would tell him more about that battle. “Were Ereinion and you good friends?” He hoped he wasn’t rekindling any ugly memories for Elrond, but he had the feeling the half-Elf would tell him to change their subject should the memories become too painful.

Elrond briefly closed his eyes and replied, “We were more than friends, Legolas.” There was no doubt in his mind that the blond Elf would reach the right conclusion.

Legolas’ eyes widened in surprise that Elrond would admit to that so casually. “You were lovers?”

Elrond’s eyes opened and he stared distantly. “For a short while, yes.”

Legolas blinked and frowned. “So when you lost Ereinion…”

“I lost much more than a good friend.” Elrond drew in a deep breath. “You can probably imagine how angry I was when Ereinion died. Angry and confused. I screamed at the Valar. I was angry with them for taking Ereinion’s life instead of mine. Why did Sauron not spare my beloved’s life and kill me? I drowned in guilt and self-pity and it took Glorfindel a long time to reach me. He had gone through something similar when the Valar had decided to return him to Middle Earth. He did not think he deserved that honor when there were so many warriors in the Halls of Waiting who had served their Lords better than he.” Elrond inclined his head and looked at Legolas in understanding. “The nightmares were bad and I refused to rest for a while. Thankfully Glorfindel and Erestor pulled me through.”

“What did they do?” Legolas devoured each word Elrond spoke.

“They acted toward me the way I am treating you. They took me apart, made me sleep, and then started to talk to me. They brought my feelings and guilt into the open. I was confused since the nightmares would never leave me alone. Night after night I saw Ereinion die all over again.” Elrond shivered as he remembered that time.

“We can stop discussing this if it makes you uncomfortable,” Legolas offered and rested a wet hand on Elrond’s shoulder that was just within reach.

Touched, Elrond shook his head. “That will not be necessary. I do not like remembering those days, but the memories no longer hurt that much.” He clasped Legolas’ hand in his and lowered the limb until it rested in his lap. Absentmindedly, he stroked the wet skin. “Talking about it helps. I kept it all inside and when you do that, it starts to poison you.”

“I never talked about my nightmares before,” Legolas admitted in a choked voice. “I thought it would give them more power over me.”

Elrond shook his head again. “I understand why you would think that, but that is not the case. Talking about your feelings, your perceived guilt, and the nightmares takes away the sting. You are not responsible for what happened to Haldir and his army. You fought hard and so did they. You were up against an overwhelming force and it is a miracle that some of you survived at all.” Legolas’ eyes were swimming and Elrond hoped that the other Elf would give in and shed them. “There is no shame or weakness in mourning those who passed along, Legolas. Even though we know they dwell in the Halls of Waiting, knowing they died hurts. I know that.”

Silently the tears left Legolas’ eyes and flowed down his face until they dripped into the water. “There is something you should know,” he said tremulously. Elrond had been honest with him and he could do nothing less.

“You should only tell me when you feel you are ready to share this with me.” Elrond didn’t want to push Legolas.

Legolas moistened his lips and then plunged ahead. “Haldir and I were lovers occasionally. It always happened when I visited the Golden Wood.”

Elrond’s heart went out to the other Elf. “Then you lost a lover too. You saw him die much like I witnessed Ereinion’s death. I am not surprised that nightmares haunt you.” Rubbing the trembling fingers which rested in the safe hold of his hands, Elrond listened with his heart and his ears.

“We were not bound, Elrond. It was nothing like that.” Legolas felt uncomfortable since Elrond was comparing their situation. “Surely Ereinion and you were committed to each other?”

“That does not matter,” Elrond stated decisively. “You lost someone you loved. It is of little consequence if you were bonded or not.” Elrond cringed at the thought of Legolas being forced to witness Haldir’s death without having the means to protect his beloved. “Haldir would not want you to lose yourself in this way,” he added as he remembered the words which Erestor had said a long time ago. “He would want you to accept his death and move on.” Legolas opened his mouth to deny Elrond’s words, but in the end, he couldn’t. He knew the half-Elf was right. Haldir would tell him to find a way to move on. “You do not have to react now,” Elrond suggested and smiled warmly. “Give yourself time to deal with what has happened.”

Legolas’ facial expression became thoughtful. “How long will it take?”

“It is different for each of us,” Elrond replied. “It might take you weeks, or years.”

“How long did it take you?”

Elrond sighed deeply. “Years.” Ereinion would always live on in his heart, but the half-Elf *had* found a way to move on and focus on the positive things in his life, like his friends and family. Legolas needed to do the same thing if he wanted to deal with losing Haldir.

~~~

Legolas noticed that Elrond had changed into something less formal when it was time for dinner. They had talked about lost loves, memories, and their past for most of the day and Legolas found that Elrond had been right. Talking about his feelings took some of the sting out of the memories.

Intercepting Legolas’ look, Elrond smiled. “Formal robes keep me warm, but they are a nuisance when you want to move about.” He had changed into a shirt, leggings, and had donned a warm house robe. “It is one of the few disadvantages to being half-Elven,” he admitted. “I feel the cold more.” At this time of the year, the evenings were already turning chilly because the sun set early.

Legolas seated himself opposite Elrond as he frowned. “What are the other disadvantages?”

“There is always the possibility that one’s children will choose mortality,” Elrond answered with a clenched jaw. “Arwen found her love and destiny at Estel’s side, but at the same time that destiny took her away from me. One day, she will die.”

“Even Elves die,” Legolas pointed out thoughtfully as his mind traveled back to Helm’s Deep. “Being a full Elf is no guarantee that one shall live forever.”

“That is true,” Elrond conceded. “But I would have preferred for my daughter to have sailed to Valinor.”

“At least you still have many years to enjoy her company,” Legolas remarked as he watched the door open and a servant bring in dinner. “Or do you plan to sail any time soon?” The servant placed the steaming hot dishes on the table and then closed the door as he left.

“Not for at least another five decades,” Elrond said and tasted the stew. “I want to stay close to Arwen for as long as I can.” He would visit Minas Tirith on a regular base. “And what are your plans for the future?” Elrond figured it was time to address Legolas’ plans.

Legolas shrugged. “I would like to stay here for some time, if I may.”

“You are always welcome in Imladris,” Elrond replied and sipped some wine. “I enjoy your company,” he admitted. “Glorfindel and Erestor are otherwise occupied these days.”

“In what way?” Legolas transferred some of the stew onto his plate and started to eat. His appetite was returning and for that he was grateful.

“They have become lovers recently.” Elrond chuckled at Legolas’ surprised look. “I was stunned too. They always argued in the past.”

“Maybe they hid their attraction beneath the verbal sparring.”

“They probably did.”

Legolas continued to eat and silence descended onto the room. He wasn’t quite sure if he liked the silence or if it made him feel uncomfortable. The fact that they were eating however provided them with a valid reason to stop talking for a while. He inclined his head and said, “Please present my compliments to your kitchen.”

“Yes, the cook is talented.” Elrond was already eyeing the pastries, which were meant to be desserts. “It took me some time to find my appetite at the time. Sometimes, Glorfindel literally forced me to eat.”

The Prince felt a deep sympathy where Elrond was concerned. “You must have loved Ereinion deeply.”

“We shared a special bond,” Elrond agreed and his throat went dry. “No matter how much I loved Celebrían, my love for Ereinion remained. Celebrían was the perfect wife and mother, but I never felt the same passion for her which I had felt for Ereinion. I pray to the Valar that she never realized that.”

Legolas gracefully tilted his head and accepted the glass filled with miruvor that Elrond handed him. The spirit possessed healing proprieties and would strengthen him. “You prefer male company then?”

“I thought that was obvious?” Elrond laughed mirthlessly. “I tried to love Celebrían with my entire heart, but something was lacking from our relationship.”

“It is the same for me,” Legolas divulged as he sipped the sweet liquid. “I like the feel of a male body best.”

Legolas’ words brought a weak blush to Elrond’s cheeks. “Did you have other lovers besides Haldir?” Although Elrond knew that discussing this matter might cause the blond Elf emotional pain, he also felt it important that Legolas grew comfortable talking about the Galadhel.

A shadow crossed over Legolas’ features as he remembered the nights Haldir and he had shared, mostly high up in the sentry’s talan. Some other nights had been spent making love on the forest ground. “There were a few, although I never felt the pull of a bond. I cared deeply for Haldir, but neither he nor I felt the need to deepen that relationship.”

Elrond placed a pastry onto his plate and buried a finger in the substance to remove some of it. He tasted the delicacy and a vague smile appeared on his face. “Maybe there is hope for you still, my friend.” Seeing Legolas’ puzzled look, he explained, “You still have to find your true love while I lost mine already.”

While sipping more of the miruvor, Legolas probed Elrond with his eyes as he smiled. “Do you really think the Valar only grace us with one love in our lives? Would that not be cruel?”

“You still have faith in them,” Elrond answered and the smile on his face faded again. “I lost mine when Ereinion died. You are right: I believe that we only receive one opportunity to love unconditionally. Sadly enough, my love died.”

Legolas shook his head. “I do not agree. Life is not that cruel. You will love again.” Elrond merely stared blankly at him and Legolas sensed a challenge being thrown out at him, though Elrond wasn’t the challenger. Maybe it was the Valar, maybe it was his imagination, or maybe it was life itself.

~~~

That night, Elrond wondered about the best course of action. Should he return Legolas to the guest room or extend an invitation to stay longer? In the end, he decided to simply ask Legolas what he wanted.

Legolas blinked in surprise. Until that moment, he hadn’t considered the matter. Searching his feelings, he eventually found his answer. “I would prefer your company,” he said. “I do not trust myself at the moment and being alone might trigger certain memories or even cause the nightmares to return.”

“You can sleep in the bed,” Elrond decided. “I will take the couch.” He fell asleep there on most nights at any rate.

“No, that would be wrong. These are your rooms. I will take the couch!”

Elrond just raised his right hand and ended all protest by saying, “The bed is yours and the couch is mine. I insist.”

Knowing when a battle was lost, Legolas gave in.

“Drink this before you lie down.” Elrond had brewed a certain kind of tea that would keep Legolas’ mind clear of any nightmares that night. “You need more rest before you can attempt sleep without the aid of this tea.”

Trustingly, Legolas sipped the tea until he had emptied the cup. He had seldom shared rooms with another Elf. Even when he had been staying with Haldir, the sentry had often been on duty and Legolas had had the talan to himself. Dressed in one of Elrond’s night shirts, he pressed deeper into the comfort of the mattress filled with feathers and even allowed Elrond to pull up the sheet and tuck it around him. “I still feel guilty for occupying your bed,” he admitted as the tea loosened his tongue.

Elrond reacted by stroking a lock of blond hair away from Legolas’ brow. “I am the host and you are my guest. You will do as you are told.” A wicked gleam appeared in his eyes.

Left with no way out, Legolas accepted the situation. The tea was making him feel drowsy and his mind started to drift. “Yes, go to sleep,” Elrond instructed as he saw the blue gaze grow distant. “You need to rest.” It had been his intention to only sit with Legolas until the other Elf was sound asleep, but when that time came, he found he didn’t want to leave Legolas’ side yet. It had been a long time since he’d had company and he sincerely liked Legolas. He always had. Maybe it was because Legolas reminded him of Thranduil.

Although he had never admitted it to anyone, Elrond had at one time felt attracted to the Woodland King. Legolas was different from Thranduil in many ways, but in some, he resembled the Mirkwood King strongly. “Sleep, Legolas.” Impulsively, Elrond leaned in closer and pressed a chaste kiss onto the blond Elf’s brow. “May the Valar grant you a peaceful sleep.”

Although he knew he should move over to the couch, Elrond stayed where he was and simply watched Legolas sleep.

 

~~~

Part 2

 

During the night it was Elrond and not Legolas who fell victim to nightmares. Talking about Ereinion that day had brought the ghosts back to the surface and without the aid of the healing tea, Elrond succumbed to the memories. He started awake with a scream which woke Legolas from his peaceful slumber as well.

 

Disorientated, Legolas searched for his knives, convinced that some foe was close. He was surprised when he realized that he was still in Elrond’s rooms and that the two of them were alone. No enemy was present. Seeing Elrond’s wide eyes and the parted lips which had just released a scream, it didn’t take Legolas long to draw the right conclusion. Elrond had fallen asleep and his memories had attacked him in his sleep. Reaching out to the half-Elf, Legolas pushed himself into a sitting position and didn’t think twice as he wrapped Elrond up in an embrace. “I am sorry,” he whispered. “It was my questions which brought it all back.”

 

Elrond managed to compose himself and shook his head. “No, it was not!” Sliding an arm up Legolas’ back, he gripped the other Elf’s neck and forced him to make eye contact. “There is always the chance that the nightmares return and I have been thinking about Ereinion a lot lately.”

 

Once their gazes were locked, Legolas saw the sincerity in Elrond’s eyes. The half-Elf wasn’t going to allow him to put the blame for this on himself. Elrond refused to add more to his feelings of guilt. Elrond had calmed down and Legolas suddenly became aware of the intimate position they were in. Tightly locked in an embrace, their brows were close enough to touch and Elrond’s fingers were massaging the nape of his neck. “Maybe it is a bad idea for either of us to be alone. Desert your couch and share the bed with me.” Legolas cringed when Elrond’s face showed something akin to shock and realized that the half-Elf had interpreted his words. “Being close to each other might keep the nightmares at bay. I am not proposing anything more,” he added to make his offer clearer.

 

Elrond felt quite the fool for having taken Legolas’ words the wrong way and released the younger Elf. “I am sorry for assuming that…” Legolas chuckled and that was something Elrond hadn’t expected to hear. It made him look up and search the other Elf’s eyes.

 

“I feel flattered,” Legolas quipped in an attempt to make light of the situation they were in. “To be considered that way is an honor.”

 

Legolas’ words brought a smile to Elrond’s lips. “You are very fair, Legolas. I can not think of an Elf who would refuse you.”

 

Elrond’s flattery surprised Legolas, but he gracefully accepted the compliment. “Then let me repay you by saying that only a fool would deny you.”

 

That was enough to make Elrond grow flustered. “In that light, sharing a bed might not be wise.”

 

Legolas turned serious and asked, “Do I scare you, Elrond?”

 

Shock flitted across Elrond’s eyes. “No, you do not!”

 

“Then why does the mere thought of us sharing our bodies make you turn crimson?” Normally the Prince wasn’t so bold, but being honest with Elrond was surprisingly easy.

 

“It has been years since…” Elrond started and then lost his courage. “You are my patient. I am the healer. I could not take advantage of you that way.”

 

Legolas cocked his head inquisitively. “And what if I was healed and the nightmares left me alone? Would you then consider sharing your body with me?”

 

Bewildered, Elrond stared at Legolas. Not in his wildest dreams had he thought the blond Elf would be so bold and ask him such a question! Legolas smiled sweetly, but that didn’t fool Elrond. The half-Elf realized Legolas was toying with him in a way. “How can you ask such a thing?”

 

“Maybe you need time to consider my proposal.” Legolas released Elrond and lay down again before patting the space next to him. “The bed is big enough for us both. You do not have to touch me, Elrond.”

 

The thought of touching Legolas caused a sensation in Elrond’s body which took the Elf-Lord by surprise. He felt ashamed for feeling aroused and reminded himself that Legolas was still his patient. He couldn’t accept the invitation, no matter how innocently presented. “I will sit here.”

 

“As you wish, though you might end up with a sore neck.” Legolas stretched out onto his side and watched Elrond with cat-like curiosity. But since the excitement had died down, the narcotic in the tea started to make him drowsy once more and he quickly fell asleep again.

 

Elrond felt grateful when Legolas’ gaze became distant. “By the Grace of the Valar...what happened just now?” he mumbled.

 

~~~

 

Erestor considered the situation he found them in that morning. It was very unlike Elrond to sleep in the same bed as his patient and a grin appeared on Erestor’s face. He had heard Elrond scream the other night and had been tempted to check on his friend, but Glorfindel had kept him back, telling him that Elrond wasn’t alone and that it would be inappropriate to bust in there in the middle of the night. “So what did you do?” he whispered too softly for the two sleeping Elves to hear. They were both dressed so he ruled out anything intimate had happened, but the way Elrond was holding Legolas in his sleep indicated that the half-Elf felt protective of the blond Elf.

 

Elrond had always confided in him and he knew of the attraction on Elrond’s part. The Advisor had thought however that the attraction was one-sided. He had also assumed that Elrond would never act on his feelings since Elrond clung to Ereinion’s memory. Seeing the two Elves curled up together made Erestor smile though. He had always hoped Elrond would receive a second chance at love.

 

He was about to leave the room again when Elrond unexpectedly stirred. The gray eyes filled with awareness and instantly focused on him. Knowing Elrond, Erestor assumed that the warrior had sensed that he was being watched. “Do you want me to fetch breakfast?” He wasn’t giving Elrond the opportunity to question him on why he was in the room.

 

The other night’s memories were still fresh and Elrond felt too tired to call Erestor on intruding. “Please do.” Erestor turned and left the room as Elrond blinked while wondering on why he was looking at an empty chair standing close to the bed. Had he not been seated there the previous night? How had he ended up in bed with Legolas? Feeling utterly confused, he tried to sit upright, only to discover that Legolas had a tight hold on him in turn. They had slept facing each other and one look showed that the blond Elf was still asleep. That gave him time to come up with a reasonable explanation, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t remember exchanging the chair for the bed.

 

“So you reconsidered after all,” Legolas mumbled and blinked sleepily. Elrond’s potion had worked and his sleep had been free of his personal demons. “What made you change your mind?”

 

Elrond shrugged helplessly. “This probably sounds unusual, but I have no idea how I ended up in bed.”

 

Legolas released Elrond, who quickly sat upright. Stretching like a cat, Legolas considered how nice it had been to have Elrond that close. “It does not matter,” he said eventually, dismissing the issue.

 

/It matters to me,/ Elrond thought in perplexity. /I never acted in my sleep before!/ That he might be sleepwalking all of a sudden worried him. Elrond swung his feet to the floor and pushed himself upright. “You can rest as long as you like.” He disappeared into the bathroom and splashed water onto his face before feeling the need to change into the thickest formal robes he owned. Once he had changed his clothing, he returned to the bedroom and cringed when he found Erestor there placing a heavily-loaded tray onto the bed. The lopsided grin his Advisor shot him revealed exactly what Erestor thought of the situation he had found them in. “That will be all, Erestor. I will join you in my study in a little bit.” Erestor grinned wickedly before excusing himself. “I hate it when he appears like that. He never learned to knock.” Elrond seated himself on the edge of the bed, carefully keeping a respectable distance between them.

 

“He loves you,” Legolas remarked as he considered the toppings he could put onto his slice of bread. In the end, he put some cheese onto it and took a bite out of the bread.

 

Elrond sighed and poured some tea. “I suppose so. He has been a good friend for millennia.”

 

“Where are you going?” Legolas asked as he noticed the formal robes Elrond was wearing.

 

“There are some small matters I need to attend to. Trading matters mostly. I will have to leave you for a short while. I trust you can keep yourself busy? You are free to read any of the books here.” Elrond pointed at the shelves filled with scrolls and books. “Or if you prefer to go for a walk, the gardens are still in bloom. That will not last much longer though.”

 

Puzzled as to why it seemed Elrond was running away from him, Legolas nodded. Maybe he had been too forward the other night. He had always been direct and that character trait had often put him into trouble. “I will keep busy. When will I see you again?”

 

Legolas’ eagerness to spend more time with him unnerved Elrond. The other night’s conversation was still very much alive in his mind and the unspoken offer still hung in the air around them. The truth was that Elrond felt attracted to Legolas and the blond Elf had hinted that he wouldn’t deny the half-Elf. That in itself worried Elrond for he had never considered the possibility of Legolas returning his feelings, but since it was happening, the half-Elf didn’t know how to respond. “At dinner. I will invite Erestor and Glorfindel as well. You will enjoy their company.”

 

The Prince considered objecting, but then realized that Elrond needed his friends close for the half-Elf felt lost and confused. Erestor and Glorfindel’s presence would ensure Legolas didn’t bring up the previous night’s conversation again. Legolas decided to let Elrond get away with it for now, but was determined to address the matter after Erestor and Glorfindel had left. The other night a lot had been left unsaid and Legolas needed clarity and certainty as to where they stood. He didn’t expect Elrond to bind with him or bed him that night, but Legolas *did* want to know if Elrond’s feelings for him were true.

 

~~~

 

Legolas eventually grew bored and left the bed. He changed back into his clothes and draped the nightshirt over the foot of the bed before making his way over to the book shelves to examine the scrolls. Unfolding one of them, his eyes narrowed when he realized that he was reading a private correspondence that had passed between Elrond and Ereinion. The tone was loving and dedicated with the High King ending his letter with a passionate declaration of his love for the half-Elf. Feeling quite the intruder, Legolas placed it back on the shelf and moved to the window instead.

 

Looking out over the gardens, he found that Elrond was right in that the flowers were still in bloom, but the leaves and petals were already falling. Suddenly he felt cooped up and needed out. He slipped into his boots and left the half-Elf’s chambers.

 

He moved outside and spent the next few hours exploring the gardens and the woods that surrounded them. He walked as far as the Bruinen and then turned back. The stroll gave him a chance to think over what had happened the prior night. The realization that there was some attraction at work stunned him. Legolas had come to Imladris tormented by nightmares and haunted by the memories of Haldir’s death. Haldir and he had never shared the deep relationship Elrond and Ereinion had, but Legolas was still shocked to discover that his heart would welcome Elrond’s courtship should the half-Elf decide to take that step.

 

Legolas was still deeply in thought when he reached the stables. He didn’t notice Glorfindel at first and the warrior had to call out his name to grab his attention. “Glorfindel!” Legolas turned and advanced on the warrior who was grooming Asfaloth. The stallion appeared taken with the attention and gave the Woodland Elf an annoyed look.

 

“Erestor told me that you had arrived.” Glorfindel continued to brush Asfaloth’s mane as he addressed Legolas. Winking at the Prince, the golden-haired warrior added, “He also told me that he found you in Elrond’s bed.”

 

Legolas grinned. “Did he also tell you that we were both still fully clothed?” Glorfindel’s impish expression faded and an annoyed look replaced it.

 

“No, he did not!” Glorfindel shook his head. “I will correct him once we speak again.”

 

Legolas laughed. “Still arguing with Erestor, Glorfindel?”

 

“Always. It has become something of a sport and making up afterwards is very fulfilling.” Glorfindel finished grooming Asfaloth and released the reluctant stallion so he could return to the other horses in the meadow. “Go on then. I will take you out for a ride later.” He wanted a word in private with the Woodland Elf.

 

Legolas fell into step with Glorfindel as he began walking toward the Last Homely House. “Elrond told me that Erestor and you are lovers these days?”

 

“He could not keep it a secret, could he?” Glorfindel’s grin remained glued to his face as he placed a hand on Legolas’ shoulder to squeeze. “I must admit that I never saw it coming. I always thought Erestor hated my guts, but then… I still do not remember how we ended up in bed together. I believe he pushed me and I stumbled, falling onto the bed on my back and then he was all over me.” He smiled as fond memories washed over him. “He is quite a handful though. Keeps me busy.”

 

Legolas chuckled. “Somehow I have the feeling you like it that way.”

 

“Yes, I love a challenge and by the Grace of the Valar, does Erestor present me with one each day anew!” Glorfindel probed Legolas’ gaze and then became serious. “It is not Erestor and I that I wish to talk about.” Legolas swallowed nervously. How much did Glorfindel know? “I saw the look in your eyes during the wedding. You acted cheerfully, but I saw beneath the mask. You carry the ghosts of the dead with you.”

 

Legolas fought the urge to avoid eye contact, but recalled Elrond’s advice to face his fears and guilt head on. “What happened at Helm’s Deep was slaughter. The faces of the Elves which died there will never leave me.”

 

“It seems that way to you now, but that will change. I saw some of my best friends die during the attack on Gondolin. In time, the memories fade.” Glorfindel stopped walking and placed both hands on Legolas’ shoulders. “I trust you have told Elrond what troubles you?”

 

“I confided in him.” Legolas felt touched when he realized how deeply worried Glorfindel was about him. “He is helping me cope.”

 

Glorfindel nodded. “Elrond knows how to deal with such a situation.”

 

“He went through something very similar, did he not?”

 

Glorfindel’s gaze revealed surprise. “He told you?”

 

“About Ereinion? About losing and loving him? Yes, he did.” Legolas wondered about the surprise in the warrior’s eyes. “You know so why are you surprised I do too?”

 

“Because, except for Erestor, Cirdan, and me, no one else knows. That he told you implies he trusts you.” And it implied even more than that, but Glorfindel wasn’t going to address that. That was something Elrond and Legolas had to sort out. “Your pain makes you vulnerable and your problems will remind Elrond of the loss he suffered, which makes him vulnerable in turn. I do not want either of you to be hurt.”

 

Legolas’ eyes widened as he realized what Glorfindel was hinting at. “I will never hurt Elrond! He has always been a good friend.”

 

Glorfindel shot Legolas a reprimanding look. “But you also realized that there is more than just friendship on Elrond’s part, did you not?” His mind had always been sharp and Legolas’ reactions so far showed that the Woodland Elf had found out about Elrond’s attraction.

 

“We discussed it last night, although I do not believe this is your business,” Legolas replied defensively. He took a step away from the warrior and shook off the strong hands. “That is between Elrond and me.”

 

“You are right of course,” Glorfindel conceded. “I am merely worried about a good friend who almost lost his sanity when his lover died. I do not want to witness Elrond fall apart again.”

 

Puzzled as to why Glorfindel had said that, Legolas frowned. “What do you mean?”

 

“Please consider your next step carefully, Legolas. Elrond’s heart was broken once. I do not want it to break again because you realized you do not love Elrond back. Do not play with his feelings.”

 

“I would never do that!” Angry, Legolas glared at Glorfindel. “How can you think so little of me? Do you not know me better than that?”

 

“I know that Elves change, Legolas. Erestor has changed in little ways since we came together and so have I. I also know what witnessing such horrors as Helm’s Deep can do to an Elf. Do not accept Elrond’s courtship if it is only a means for you to fight loneliness. I beg of you, please consider this very carefully.”

 

“You made your point,” Legolas answered after listening to Glorfindel. “I know that you speak out of concern for Elrond, but I still feel disappointed that you do not know me any better than that.”

 

“I like you,” Glorfindel replied in a friendlier tone. “I always did. I still remember your first visit to Imladris and how young and innocent you still were, but you have changed and I care deeply for Elrond. I want neither of you to be hurt.”

 

Legolas sighed as he realized that Glorfindel was worried for both of them and not just Elrond. “You can put your trust in me, Glorfindel. I will do nothing to hurt Elrond. I give you my word.”

 

“Do not claim that,” Glorfindel suggested shakily. “You do not know what the future will bring. We can only hope for the best.”

 

~~~

 

Elrond returned to his rooms with some trepidation since he didn’t know what kind of mood he would find Legolas in. There was no denying that the Woodland Elf was making great progress as the specially brewed tea ensured that he slept peacefully. Talking about the horrors Legolas had witnessed had become easier and Elrond was convinced that the other Elf was on his way to healing.

 

Opening the door to his rooms, he located Legolas on the windowsill. The younger Elf was staring outside and he could tell that Legolas had been outside for most of the day since a healthy hue had appeared on the other Elf’s face. “It is almost time for dinner. I hope you do not mind that Erestor and Glorfindel will join us?”

 

Legolas smiled at Elrond and shook his head. “I do not mind. I spent some time with Glorfindel today at any rate.”

 

Elrond faced a dilemma. He wanted to change into lighter more informal robes but that meant disrobing in front of Legolas. When he had invited the other Elf to stay he hadn’t considered the problems which might arise. “Did you?”

 

“Yes, I ran into Glorfindel at the stables. We talked… It amused me to learn that he is still stunned by the fact that Erestor and he are together. That must have been a stormy first night.” Legolas didn’t know what had made him say that. Maybe he had just wanted to get a reaction out of Elrond.

 

“Do not remind me. Imladris shook on its foundations.” Elrond grinned as he fondly remembered Erestor arriving late at his study looking mauled.

 

Legolas hopped from the windowsill and covered the distance between them, his gaze sobered. “We need to discuss last night.”

 

Elrond turned around and presented Legolas with his back, but the Woodland Elf wouldn’t have any of it and placed his hands on Elrond’s shoulders to turn him around again. Elrond proudly raised his gaze and looked Legolas in the eye. “There is nothing to discuss.”

 

The Prince shook his head. “I think there is...a lot actually. You hinted at certain things. How long have you been attracted to me, Elrond?”

 

The direct question took Elrond aback, but he still kept his wits about him. “How did you ever conclude that I am attracted to you? You must have misinterpreted something I said.”

 

“I know what I heard and Glorfindel confirmed my thoughts.”

 

“Glorfindel?” Elrond grew agitated. “What did he say?” His friend wouldn’t have told Legolas about the attraction! Or would he?

 

“Please calm down.” Legolas felt odd as he realized that he was the calm one during their exchange. He had expected Elrond to handle the matter more maturely. “Why does it annoy you so much that I found out?”

 

Elrond finally voiced his feelings. “Because it was never intended for you to find out!” He glared at Legolas. He wasn’t angry with the blond Elf but with himself and Glorfindel.

 

“And why is that?” Legolas had a theory that Elrond felt that admitting to his feelings would make him love Ereinion less.

 

“Just because!” Elrond continued to glare and expected Legolas to back down, but to his surprise, the blond Elf refused to budge and stood his ground. “Do not expect me to act on it.”

 

“Maybe I will have to act on it then,” Legolas hinted and noted the terror in Elrond’s eyes. The half-Elf had never expected to receive such an answer. “Do not worry,” Legolas added. “I need to deal with my problems first.” But it was good to know that he had a chance with the half-Elf.

 

\---

“Is it my imagination or is it freezing in here?” Erestor shot Elrond a reprimanding look. The half-Elf was doing his best to radiate a chill where Legolas was concerned and Glorfindel and he had been caught in the middle. The two of them had tried to start a conversation, but Elrond refused to participate, while Legolas seemed amused and chatted along.

 

“Quite chilly,” Glorfindel replied and played along. “And this time it is not you being frosty.”

 

Erestor glared at Glorfindel at that remark. “That is because you keep giving me reasons to be frosty towards you!”

 

Legolas couldn’t help himself and laughed, earning himself a glare by both Erestor and Elrond.

 

“Maybe it is time to leave,” Glorfindel remarked. “And leave these two to sort everything out.”

 

“There is nothing to sort out so you will stay,” Elrond retorted in a clipped voice which revealed his anxiety.

 

“I do not think so.” Erestor pushed back his chair and stood to his feet. “Glorfindel, we are leaving.”

 

“Yes, my dear.” Glorfindel grinned at his lover.

 

“I told you to stop calling me that!” Erestor fumed, but it was just an act and all present saw through it.

 

“You should argue a bit more,” Legolas quipped. “That way you can take more time making up!” The glare Erestor shot him was sharper than a Dwarf’s ax and Legolas pretended to flinch. “That hurt.”

 

Even Elrond had to smile, but then he straightened again, removing all traces of his amusement. “Come along, my dear,” Glorfindel said as he stepped in and took charge. He pulled Erestor with him and quickly closed the door behind them. There would be a lot of making up that night and Glorfindel grinned.

 

~~~

 

“That was entertaining.” Legolas curled his fingers around the wine glass and studied Elrond from over the rim. “But you are not in the mood to laugh.”

 

“Not really.” Elrond was tempted to leave using more work as an excuse, but when he returned to his rooms, Legolas would still be there. “Did you suffer any flashbacks today?”

 

Legolas shook his head. “You were right. Talking about their deaths and the loss of Haldir took away some of the pain.” A sad serious expression appeared on his face. “I will never forget what happened and I will mourn Haldir’s passing, but it no longer consumes me.”

 

Elrond however didn’t quite agree. “You have only been here for a few days. You can not have healed that quickly!”

 

“Maybe what I needed the most was someone who understood and listened? Or perhaps some company?” Legolas considered the half-Elf seated opposite him and reached a startling conclusion. Elrond was afraid of him and of the passion which Legolas might awaken in him. He had to be gentle where the Elf-Lord was concerned. “We should finish our dinner.”

 

The Peredhel felt relieved that Legolas had changed their topic, but he also realized he had only been given a short respite. Legolas would make him face this attraction sooner or later.

 

~~~

 

“Do you want me to move back into the guest room?” Legolas felt he should give Elrond a choice in the matter. It was late already and they would turn in for the night soon. Elrond had prepared more tea and Legolas noticed that the half-Elf had also poured some for himself.

 

Elrond sipped and then sighed deeply. Running away and not facing Legolas wouldn’t work and it was best he faced this now. “I do not know what the best course of action is,” he admitted. “Legolas, you must understand. I never thought something like this could happen.”

 

“But it did.”

 

Placing his cup on the table, Elrond gazed into Legolas’ eyes. “You know that I am attracted to you, but not once did you tell me if the feeling is mutual.”

 

“You are right.” Legolas had been waiting for Elrond to ask him that. “Do you want to know then?”

 

“I am not certain.” Elrond didn’t know what scared him more: that Legolas would reject him or that the Woodland Elf returned his feelings. Both options would present him with problems.

 

“I will tell you at any rate.” Legolas had emptied half of his cup before rising from his chair and covering the distance between them. Elrond’s breath caught audibly and Legolas grinned. Sensually, he slid onto Elrond’s lap and straddled him. “Does this answer your question?”

 

Elrond’s mouth went dry and his hand shook as he dug his fingernails into the wood of the arm rest. “What do you think you are doing?”

 

“What does it look like?” Legolas had never been particularly inhibited where pleasing his lovers had been concerned. It was one quality Haldir had loved in him and, with the thought of his former lover, Legolas’ smile saddened. The more he thought about it, the more convinced he became that Haldir wouldn’t want him to turn his back on life.

 

The older Elf was speechless. Legolas slid his arms around his shoulders and one hand moved higher to cup the back of his head. “I think you are moving a bit too fast.”

 

“Maybe,” Legolas whispered. “Maybe not.” He rested his brow against Elrond’s and searched the half-Elf’s eyes. “What are you afraid of? That you will love Ereinion less?” Elrond tensed against him and Legolas soothed him quickly. “No one can touch the love you hold for him, Elrond, but maybe you can love me too?”

 

Elrond’s vocal cords refused to cooperate. Unable to reply, he stared back. The pace with which Legolas was moving made his head reel. In the end he managed, “I can not do this yet.”

 

“You do not have to. As I said, I need to cope with my memories too, but maybe we can deal with our pasts together and support each other? You must be tired of being lonely and I never did well on my own.”

 

Elrond’s breathing sped up as Legolas caressed his ears with his fingertips. Certain parts of his body were reacting and he found it hard to stay composed and in control. “Legolas, stop this.”

 

Legolas had never had the intention to take it further than some teasing and had really wanted to stop when he had straddled Elrond’s waist. He had merely wanted to show what kind of lover he would be if Elrond chose to be with him, but those intentions faded into the background when Elrond’s body became alive beneath him. He couldn’t help reacting in turn and crushed his lips against Elrond’s in a brutal kiss.

 

Legolas’ action shocked Elrond and he didn’t put up much resistance. Instead, he parted his mouth and allowed Legolas inside. Maintaining eye contact, he saw surprise and pleasure in Legolas’ blue ones. Elrond didn’t dare to think of where this would lead, but he accepted Legolas’ lead for the moment.

 

A deep hunger which had remained unfulfilled for a long time took possession of Legolas and he needed more. He slid off of Elrond’s lap and, once he had swung his feet onto the floor, he pulled the half-Elf along. The bed was much better suited for what he had in mind than the chair. Unwilling to speak and bring up any painful memories, he pushed Elrond onto his back and sighed appreciatively when the dark hair of the Elf Lord fanned out onto the pillow. It must have been a long time for Elrond too since Celebrían had sailed West many decades ago.

 

Elrond simply stared at Legolas in mute surprise. He wanted to tell the blond Elf to stop, but his body was remembering certain needs which had been neglected for decades and he wanted this. The one thing that utterly stunned him was the fact that Legolas was in charge.

 

Legolas made quick work of separating the Elf Lord’s robes. His hands slid along the revealed chest and then lower possessively. He found the half-Elf hard and ready for him, but Legolas had other plans. “Just give me a moment.” Sliding off of the bed, he kicked off his boots and stepped out of his trousers. Still half-dressed, he covered Elrond with his body again and hungrily pressed himself against the needy body.

 

Elrond arched his back and thrust upward, letting his body speak for itself when his lips couldn’t form the words. He fully expected Legolas to lower himself onto his erection, but the Woodland Elf surprised him again. Legolas slid a hand in-between Elrond’s legs and parted them. This grabbed Elrond’s attention all right. “Do not tell me you are planning…” But Elrond didn’t receive a chance to voice his thought as he was suddenly invaded by a sweet ache which he only remembered vaguely. Throwing back his head, he cried out and met Legolas’ next thrust.

 

Legolas gave Elrond exactly what the half-Elf needed, sensing what Elrond had been denying himself for so long perfectly. Flexing his hips and thrusting into the half-Elf’s body, he aimed for the sensitive gland inside in the channel and hit it repeatedly. Elrond’s dazed look assured Legolas that he was doing everything right and he deepened his thrusts, taking his time to pull out and then plunge inside again. Elrond suddenly became alive beneath him and grabbed him by the neck, pulling him closer until they could kiss.

 

With their limbs tangled, lips locked, and gazes fastened on each other it was impossible not to surrender to the passion Legolas had kindled and Elrond found release with an almost feral scream tumbling from his lips. Legolas followed shortly after and collapsed on top of the trembling Elf Lord.

 

“I did not want you to come just yet,” Legolas complained with a lazy grin. “I was hoping you would return the favor.”

 

The words woke the fire inside Elrond and, although he had just found release, he surged into hardness again. “Be careful what you wish for,” he growled and accepted the challenge Legolas had just thrown at him. Legolas’ dilated pupils showed to Elrond how much the other Elf craved this and he was determined not to fail. He turned the blond Elf until his partner was on his stomach before rising majestically above him. Parting the taut buttocks with one hand, he guided himself inside with the other. He rested his hands on the small of Legolas’ back and proceeded to possess the blond Elf.

 

Legolas buried his fingers in the sheet and clawed at the fabric. His face was pushed into the pillow and he groaned each time Elrond thrust forward, pushing the air from his lungs. One of Elrond’s hands found its way into his hair and tugged at the blond strands.

 

Both Elves found release at the same time and Elrond quivered with pleasure when the tight channel started to contract around his member. He had almost forgotten what it was like to make love to a male and he had Legolas to thank for reminding him. Lying like a dead weight on top of Legolas, Elrond fought to control his too fast breathing again.

 

“Move,” Legolas grumbled in the end. “You are pressing me down.”

 

Elrond rolled off of Legolas and stretched onto his back next to the Woodland Elf. His head reeled as his body hummed with satiation and yet a part of him couldn’t believe it had actually happened.

 

Legolas turned onto his side so he could look at Elrond and grinned at the perplexed look on the half-Elf’s face. “I did not plan that,” he confessed. “The moment took me and I was carried away. I would have waited for you to come to me.”

“It is a bit late to say that, do you not agree?” Elrond tilted his head and met Legolas’ probing gaze.

 

“Are you very angry with me?” Legolas gazed at Elrond hopefully. “You seemed to enjoy yourself too.”

 

Elrond released a deep sigh. “I had forgotten what it was like, but Legolas, you moved too fast.”

 

“You could have stopped me. I did not force you,” Legolas reminded Elrond.

 

“That is true. We both had a part in this. It is quite useless to discuss this after what has happened. We had better sort out what will happen now.”

 

“Now we are going to sleep.” Legolas suddenly shivered. “I did not finish my tea. Do you think I need to?”

 

Elrond curled himself around Legolas and guided the handsome face to rest against his shoulder. “If you trust me, I will guard your sleep tonight.”

 

Legolas smiled. “And I will guard yours.”

 

“Sounds good,” Elrond whispered and pressed a kiss onto Legolas’ brow. “Rest now.”

 

“Both of us,” Legolas replied and snuggled closer to Elrond. That night had been better than he had dared to hope.

 

~~~

 

“I would not use that potion,” Erestor advised when Glorfindel selected a red pouch hanging from one of the shelves in the Advisor’s rooms.

 

“And why is that?” Glorfindel frowned. “I have used this to help stimulate us.” The combination of herbs always brought out the imp in Erestor and he loved seeing his lover that way.

 

“It is not the pouch you used in the past. Smell the contents.”

 

Glorfindel opened the pouch and inhaled the fragrance. “You are right. It is different. How can that be?”

 

Erestor’s expression became amused and he grinned at Glorfindel, who was still deciding on if he should use the contents or not. “It will put you to sleep if you use it.”

 

“I do not understand,” Glorfindel admitted.

 

“Ah, do I have to spell it out then? I switched the content.”

 

Glorfindel’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Switched it with what?”

 

“I exchanged Elrond’s dull sleeping potion for our aphrodisiac, my dear.” Erestor waited for Glorfindel to make all necessary connections.

 

Glorfindel stared dramatically at his lover. “You used it on Elrond and Legolas?”

 

“I do not want them to dance around each other for decades before they give into their needs. You know what Elrond is like.”

 

Glorfindel sighed deeply. “Erestor…” he replied warningly.

 

“Forget it. It is too late. By this time they have shared their bodies…” Erestor was quite pleased with himself.

 

Glorfindel remembered his conversation with Legolas and realized that he should have had a similar one with his lover as well. “It is not enough to let fate take its course, is it? You always have to give fate a hand.”

 

“Of course, my fierce warrior,” Erestor retorted. “After all, that *is* why Elrond made me Chief Advisor...because I know best.”

 

All Glorfindel could do was shake his head and wonder about his lover. He would probably never figure Erestor out, but then again, that was just the way he liked it. “It is a good thing we do not need that potion.”

 

Erestor grinned as he walked over to his lover. “I am quite certain we can manage without it.”

 

“You should know it,” Glorfindel responded and buried Erestor in a tight hug. “After all, Erestor knows best.” Pleased with his lover’s observation, Erestor simply nodded. Erestor always knew best.

 

The end


End file.
